Felix Ocasio and the Water Run

by Mike Slaven

Felix and another were new guys in my squad. We were on a day long patrol and we set up around a water well to chow down. The Fireteam leaders sent Felix and the other new guy to fill our canteens. I was heating some Ham & MFs when I heard, Hey Slaven, look at the new guys trying to find the water spigot on that well. Felix was from New York, probably never seen a water well. They were standing looking at the well, confused. I said to the guy who yell at me, you're so damn smart you go get the bucket from the village and show them how to fill the canteens. Later, I look over and Felix is stacking the canteens in a line and the other guy is walking along trying to pour water in them, knocking them over. I said, "Ocasio, damn it, hold the canteens while he pours water
in them." A can of Ham & MFs, a can of peaches and a heated can of coffee later, here they come with our canteens. The canteens were half full of water. I never sent two new guys together to do a job again.